Nonsense Is A Virtue!
by Xevaral
Summary: Does Irons have a problem with skin tone? What exactly is Vicky and Jake wearing? Is it over for Mr. Potato Head? Does Mrs. Potato Head become a widow? * Chapter 5 Added! *
1. Does This Thing Glow?

DISCLAIMER: It wouldn't be smart to sue me. I'm just a senior in high school, so logically I have NO money!  
  
FEEDBACK: I would love it!  
  
ARCHIVE: Sure, would love it. Just let me know first!  
  
Author's Note: Please note that this is my first Witchblade fic! And please note, once more, that this is not making fun of Witchblade. I would never do that, for I am a true fan to the incredible show. This is just to throw in some humor.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ Nonsense Is A Virtue! ~  
  
Chapter 1 - Does That Thing Glow?  
  
Detective Sara Pezzini comes to face to face with an enchanted bracelet. Not just any enchanted bracelet, "The Enchanted Bracelet!" What was it called again? * Voice actor looks at the director * Oh, yeah, the WITCHBLADE!  
  
Sara walks in the police department. Detectives Jake and Danny are looking at something on top of the desk and talking to themselves.  
  
Sara: Hey guys! What's up?  
  
Jake: Hey, Pez!  
  
(The two cops continue to be sloped over the desk.)  
  
Sara: Is there a new case or something?  
  
Danny: (Turns around and looks confused and starts talking like a girl off of Clueless.) We're trying to figure out how to do this puzzle and it just to hard.  
  
Sara: Let me see.  
  
(Sara walks over to the desk and sees a Mr. Potato Head.)  
  
Jake: (Lifts up the nose.) Where does this go? (Looks dumb founded.)  
  
(Sara leaves the office shaking her head.)  
  
(While walking to her bike, Sara sees the assassin Ian Nottingham appear from a corner.)  
  
Sara: Quit doing that you freak!  
  
Ian: You wound me Sara.  
  
Sara: What do you want, Nottingham?  
  
Ian: (Starts grinning.) Did I show you my new sword? Look! (Pulls it out and swings it around) Isn't it shiny? (Continues swinging it around till it leaves his hand and stabs a guy in the back.) Ooops . . . gotta go!  
  
(Sara sees "Time" magazine and notices that Kenneth Irons is on it.)  
  
Kenneth: Hello, Sara. (He smiles at her.)  
  
Sara: Y . . . you're dead!  
  
Kenneth: (Starts to reply but then stops.) Tell me, do you think this picture makes me look fat?  
  
Sara: What do you want Mr. Irons?  
  
Kenneth: Well, like you don't know. (Rolls his eyes.) I want that little glowy thingy on your wrist.  
  
Sara: If you want it . . . then take it.  
  
Kenneth: I'm dead you moron! (Rolls his eyes once more.)  
  
Sara: (Yells at the picture.) Then leave me the hell alone!  
  
(Gabriel shows up.)  
  
Gabriel: Uh, Pez?  
  
Sara: (Turns around and sees Gabriel.) Umm . . .  
  
Gabriel: So . . . got a new case so I can tell you stuff that I have no clue what they mean.  
  
Sara: (Gives a disappointed look.) Unfortunately, no one wants to kill people anymore. (Sara's boss, Dante shows up.)  
  
Dante: (Keeps eying Sara.) Hello, Pezzini.  
  
Sara: (Looks at him with disgust.) Captain.  
  
Dante: I have a new assignment for you. (Hands her a file.) This guy needs a bodyguard; he thinks that someone is trying to kill him. The address is down in the corner.  
  
Sara: (Reads the address and looks up at Dante.) This is your address, Sir.  
  
Dante: No it's not.  
  
Sara: Yes it is.  
  
Dante: (In a child's voice.) Is not.  
  
Sara: Whatever! (Gives up.) When do I start?  
  
Dante: How about tonight? Is seven good for you?  
  
Sara: I suppose.  
  
Dante: (Starts walking off but turns around to say one last thing.) Oh, and this guy wants you to wear a really short skirt that barely goes over your hips. Though, your shirts are all ready kind of high, maybe you should go up a little higher.  
  
Sara: Okay, Captain.  
  
Dante: It's a date, then?  
  
Sara: What?  
  
Dante: Nothing. (Starts running off as if he didn't say anything.)  
  
Gabriel: Yeah, so about that bullet you gave me.  
  
Sara: Did you find out what it's for?  
  
Gabriel: Actually, I did. Apparently, there's this secret force inside the police and they give these things out as birthday presents for other cops.  
  
Sara: They can't do that! That's wrong! I'm going to go to tell the media and get their secret out.  
  
Gabriel: Be careful, Pez! This is dangerous stuff you're getting into.  
  
Sara: I don't care. These cops are responsible for my father not getting one. He was so upset when he didn't get one for his birthday. It's wrong! They need to go to jail and then treated to capital punishment!  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
Next week on Witchblade: "Ooh . . . Ooh . . . looky! It turns into a big knife thingy!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Okay, it's not very funny. But, hey I tried. I might end up deleting this thing. 


	2. Bodyguards And Potato Heads!

DISCLAIMER: No you don't! You're not going to sue me! Me have NO money!  
  
FEEDBACK: I would love it!  
  
ARCHIVE: Sure, would love it. Just let me know first!  
  
Author's Note: I was surprised that a few people liked it and thought it was funny. I guess I'll give another try at it. But, no promises yet if I'll delete it or not.  
  
  
  
  
  
~ Nonsense Is A Virtue! ~  
  
Chapter 1 - Bodyguards And Potato Heads  
  
Detective Sara Pezzini comes face to face with an enchanted bracelet. Not just any enchanted bracelet, "The Enchanted Bracelet!" It is the one and only GLOWYBLADE! * Director turns to voice actor * "Umm . . . that's not what it's called. It's the witchblade." * Voice actor looks confused and then shrugs his head * Okay then . . . it is the one and only WITCHBLADE!  
  
Ian Nottingham is sitting in Kenneth Irons chair and then sees Irons appear in the fire in the fire place.  
  
Irons: Hey, what do you think you're doing sitting in my chair?  
  
Ian: Gee, father you look a little warm.  
  
Irons: Do I? Is it not a good look for me?  
  
Ian: (Rolls his eyes.) Is there something you want?  
  
Irons: I'm going to possess you and kill Sara! * Insert Evil Laugh *  
  
Ian: NO!!!!!!!!  
  
Irons: YES!!!!!!!!! Now, touch my hand!  
  
Ian: Ewww . . . that nasty thing. I don't think so!  
  
Irons: Touch it!  
  
Ian: Oh all right. (Walks over and uncovers a giant brandy glass with a hand in it soaking in water.) You know if you would just give me a few seconds I can make those finger nails look soooo pretty.  
  
Irons: Just touch it!  
  
(Ian touches the hand and it grabs him.)  
  
Irons: Yes I'm back! Now, where is that big black guy?  
  
(Sara shows up at Dante's house. Dante answers the door wearing a silk, black robe. He has a fake mustache on and wearing a long, black haired wig.)  
  
Sara: Ummm . . . Captain?  
  
Dante: Oh so you want me to change into a pirate? Hold on give me a second!  
  
Sara: (Stops him and pushes him against the wall.) Captain Dante, what in the hell is going on?  
  
Dante: I'm not Captain Dante!  
  
Sara: Really, who are you then?  
  
Dante: I'm his twin brother. Yeah . . . yeah. I'm . . . umm . . . Deano Dante.  
  
Sara: Okay. (Smells something good.) Hey, whatcha got cookin'?  
  
Dante: Oh some pasta. I also have some wine. Come on in. (Shows Sara inside his house.) Oh, did I mention that I have oysters, too?  
  
(Back at the police department.)  
  
Jake: Hey, isn't there a Mrs. Potato Head?  
  
Danny: Yeah, there is.  
  
Jake: So, if there's a Mrs. Potato Head and a Mr. Potato Head, then they can make Mini Potato Heads!  
  
(Danny and Jake jump up and down clapping their hands.)  
  
(Back to Dante's house.)  
  
Dante: Enjoy the meal?  
  
Sara: Yes, it was surprisingly good.  
  
Dante: You did eat enough oysters, right?  
  
Sara: (Shakes her head yes.) How could I say no when you insisted on feeding me them.  
  
Dante: (Smiles at her while waiting for the food to take effect.) So . . .  
  
Sara: (Pulls out the White Bulls bullet and places it in front of his face.) So . . . mind telling me what this is?  
  
Dante: (Looks at it in surprise.) Hey, I got that same exact bullet for my birthday this year. What do you know?  
  
Sara: Damn you Bruno! You didn't give my father one! You're going down!  
  
(Sara jumps up on him and pulls out her gun to aim it in his face. Dante gets excited.)  
  
Dante: Wow, I didn't know you liked hard play.  
  
Sara: Don't for one second think that I'm not going to kill you!  
  
Dante: Oh I know you will baby. (Starts purring like a cat at her.)  
  
Sara: I'm going to bring you down!  
  
Dante: I don't think that's possible, baby, because I'm all ready too far up!  
  
(Sara gets up and starts running away.)  
  
(Meanwhile, Ian possessed by Irons goes to Moby.)  
  
Moby: So . . . are you sure you want this Sara Pezzini dead?  
  
Ian/Irons: Yeah, but could you bang her up a bit and get it on video?  
  
Moby: (Tilts his head in confusion.) Are you sure? A hunter cannot recall its arrow after it has all ready been shot from its bow.  
  
Ian/Irons: Yeah, whatever.  
  
Moby: Okay then.  
  
(Sara arrives back at her apartment. She opens the refrigerator and gets some cheddar cheese.)  
  
Sara: Damn! I don't have any knives. (Looks around for knives and receives no luck.)  
  
Gabriel: Use the Witchblade, Sara. (Appears out of her bathroom.)  
  
Sara: (Looks down at the bracelet. It then morphs into a sword.) Ooh . . . Ooh . . . looky! It turns into a big knife thingy! (Uses the blade and starts to slice off pieces of cheese.)  
  
Gabriel: (Walks over to the television and turns it on.) I'm proud of you, Sara.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
Next week on Witchblade: "Hey, I thought you had a son?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Heh, I don't know about this fic. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing it, I guess to take away the drama away. 


	3. I'm Possessed! I'm Possessed!

DISCLAIMER: No you don't! You're not going to sue me! Me have NO money!  
  
FEEDBACK: I would love it!  
  
ARCHIVE: Sure, would love it. Just let me know first!  
  
Author's Note: Well, here it is, Chapter 3!  
  
  
  
~ Nonsense Is A Virtue! ~  
  
Chapter 3 - I'm Possessed! I'm Possessed!  
  
Sara: (Standing outside of a new crime. She sees Ian behind a gate.) Hey.  
  
Ian/Irons: Hello. I'm going to kill you!  
  
Sara: What?  
  
Ian/Irons: I love you! No! I'm going to kill you! No! I love you!  
  
Sara: (Shakes her head.) Whatever, Nottingham.  
  
(The song Cry Little Sister starts playing.)  
  
Sara: Why does this song always play when I'm talking to you?  
  
Ian/Irons: I don't know. But, have you ever listened to the lyrics before?  
  
Sara: Hmmm . . . do you think the writers are trying to point out something?  
  
Ian/Irons: I don't know. (They look at each other.)  
  
Ian/Irons & Sara: Are you my sibling?  
  
Ian/Irons: Ewww . . . we're incestuous! (Starts running off!) MY SISTER IS IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!!!!!!! EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Sara walks into her office and sees little potato heads on her desk.)  
  
Sara: Ummm . . . Jake? Danny? Why are there miniature potato heads on my desk?  
  
Jake: Oh, Danny and I have to go get our hair done and we need you to baby- sit them.  
  
Danny: Then we have to go and pick up my daughter from basketball practice.  
  
Jake: Hey, I thought you had a son?  
  
Danny: I do.  
  
Jake: But, you only have one kid.  
  
Danny: Yeah . . . you're point?  
  
Jake: But, you just said that we have to go pick up your daughter.  
  
Danny: Yeah, she's at basketball practice.  
  
Jake: But you have a son and only one kid?  
  
Danny: Yeah.  
  
Jake: But you have a daughter, too?  
  
Danny: I only have one kid and it's a girl.  
  
Jake: But you have a son?  
  
Danny: YES!  
  
(Dante walks in the office.)  
  
Dante: Pez, how was last night?  
  
Sara: You were there. You should know.  
  
Dante: No I wasn't . . . (clears his throat) that was my twin brother remember.  
  
Sara: Sure, whatever.  
  
Dante: So . . . he was wondering if you would like to protect him again. He has more oysters. (Gives her a flirtatious smile.)  
  
Sara: Oooh really? Those oysters were fantastic!  
  
(Sara shows up at Gabriel's place.)  
  
Sara: What can you tell me about black dragons?  
  
Gabriel: How the hell am I supposed to know?  
  
Sara: You're the one that knows all that myth and fairytale stuff.  
  
Gabriel: I am?  
  
Sara: Yeah.  
  
Gabriel: Well . . . black dragons aren't as pretty as purple ones.  
  
Sara: (Rolls her eyes.) Have you ever heard of the group black dragons?  
  
Gabriel: Yeah, they're assassins, right?  
  
Sara: Yeah, is there anything else?  
  
Gabriel: Oh, before they kill their target they fix the person's hair, or something like that. They think that people should have pretty hair when they die.  
  
Sara: Oh . . .  
  
(Sara is about to walk inside a beauty salon.)  
  
Ian: (Grabs her before she walks in.) Sara, don't go in there.  
  
Sara: I need my hair done, though.  
  
Ian: Yeah you do . . . you need to learn how to take better care of it. See look at my hair. Notice how it lightly bounces off of my head, and shines when in light hits it. With just the right stuff you can do that with your hair.  
  
Sara: (Giggling.) Oh Ian, stop it! My hair could never look as good as yours.  
  
Ian: Yeah, you're right.  
  
Sara: (Gives a serious look.) I thought you were going to stop me from going inside.  
  
Ian: Oh yeah. Sara, you can't go in there because I was momentarily possessed by Irons and gave an order for your death.  
  
Sara: You put a hit out on me?  
  
Ian: I'm sorry. Forgive me?  
  
Sara: Of course I will, I love you.  
  
Ian: Ewww . . . you're my sister!  
  
Sara: So . . . we can still get married.  
  
Ian: No we can't! It's illegal, you're a cop you should know that.  
  
Sara: Not in the south it isn't. (Gives him a wink.)  
  
(Ian runs a way.)  
  
(Sara walks inside the salon.)  
  
Moby: (Appears, wearing a short muscle shirt, baggy pants, and earrings in his ears.) Oooh, girlfriend you have to let me work on that hair.  
  
Sara: I don't know it will be a challenge.  
  
Moby: No sweat, girlfriend. (Sits her into a chair. He fixes her hair, turns up looking the same as it did before.) See girlfriend, do you see how that looks so much better.  
  
Sara: Wow! How did you do that?  
  
Ian: (Walks in.) You're not going to kill her!  
  
Moby: Oh yeah!  
  
Moby and Ian interlock their hands. They try pushing each other down.  
  
Moby: I'm not giving up!  
  
Ian: Neither am I!  
  
After a minute goes by they let go of each other breathing hard.  
  
Moby: This is too much.  
  
Ian: Tell me about it.  
  
Moby: You wanna go and get some ice cream.  
  
Ian: Yeah.  
  
Sara: Hey, I thought you were going to kill eachother.  
  
Moby: What planet did you come from, girlfriend. Me kill someone? (Starts laughing.) Like I would ever do that.  
  
  
  
  
  
Next week on Witchblade: "Hey, I'm Irish! Do I sound Irish?"  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Well . . . this isn't very funny. Actually in my opinion, it isn't funny at all. 


	4. Where Is That Bar of Conch?

DISCLAIMER: As much as I would like to own the character, Ian Nottingham (just about every woman's dream), unfortunately I don't. Anyways, DON'T SUE ME!  
  
FEEDBACK: In the words of Molly Shannon, "I love it, I love it, I love it."  
  
ARCHIVE: Sure, would love it. Just let me know first!  
  
Author's Note: Well, here it is guys, Chapter 4! I hope you all enjoy, for it may be the last in a long time. I'm going on vacation next week . . . FINALLY . . . and maybe it will give my brain a rest so I can get my corky sense of humor back to flowing. Oh, and one more thing, I'd like to thank all of you for the reviews! They mean so much to me!  
  
  
  
~ Nonsense Is A Virtue! ~  
  
Chapter 4 - Where Is That Bar of Conch?  
  
Vicky: Hey, you want to go to a club with me tonight?  
  
Sara: Why?  
  
Vicky: To pick up some guys of course!  
  
Sara: Yeah, I guess so.  
  
Jake: (Walks in carrying two potato heads.) Hey, Vick. (Gives her a flirtatious smile.)  
  
Vicky: Uhh . . . why are you carrying potato heads around?  
  
Sara: Don't ask, trust me.  
  
Danny: (Walks in) Jake, I need you to take care of French, Fry, Scallop, and Curly.  
  
Vicky: Are those people?  
  
Sara: They're the little potato heads that they have in the office.  
  
Jake: (Gives her a mean look and covers up the potato heads' ears.) Sara, what did I tell you about calling our little babies potato heads? They have feelings you know! (Turns back to Danny) Are you leaving or something?  
  
Danny: I have to go pick up my son from soccer practice.  
  
Vicky: I thought you had a daughter.  
  
Sara and Jake: (Wave their hands around.) DON'T ASK!  
  
(Vicky and Sara both walk into a club. They sit down at the bar. A guy comes up from behind Sara.)  
  
Sara: Yes?  
  
The Guy: Hey, I'm Irish! Do I sound Irish?  
  
Sara: I guess so.  
  
The Guy: I know you.  
  
Sara: Really?  
  
The Guy: Yeah, I become your lover and then I die because other Irish people kidnap me and kill me. You try to save me, though. You just really sucked at it.  
  
Sara: What's your name, Pal?  
  
The Guy: Conchabar.  
  
Sara: Conchabar . . . well . . . you wanna go to my place and have sex. Then, I can leave you there for the Irish people to come kidnap you and kill you.  
  
Conchabar: Yeah, sure why not.  
  
Sara: This time I'm not going to try and save you though.  
  
Conchabar: (Thinks for a second.) Okay.  
  
(The next day. Conchabar is kidnapped. Sara goes to the police station. Ian is sitting up on her file cabinet.)  
  
Sara: I don't think I can get up there. (Has lust in her eyes.)  
  
Ian: Ewww . . . that isn't why I'm here.  
  
Sara: Then why are you here, hot stuff?  
  
Ian: Your lover has been kidnapped; I brought money for you to get him back.  
  
Sara: Oh I know. Don't worry about it.  
  
Ian: He's going to die.  
  
Sara: I know.  
  
Ian: He's your lover though.  
  
Sara: Oh, but I wish you were my lover, instead.  
  
Ian: Get away from me! (Jumps off the file cabinet and runs out the door. Comes back for a second.) And stop stalking me!  
  
Dante: (Walks in and brings her a plate of oysters.) Pez, I brought you some lunch. (Locks the door behind him.)  
  
Sara: Oooh . . . oysters! These things are so good. (Starts eating a bunch.)  
  
Dante: (Smiles at her.) I'm glad you like them. So where are your partners at?  
  
Sara: Jake is down at the lab, trying to get Vicky to go out with him. And Danny is picking up his son from soccer practice.  
  
Dante: (Appears dumbfounded.) I thought he had a daughter.  
  
Sara: He does.  
  
Dante: But, I thought he only had one kid.  
  
Sara: He does.  
  
Dante: But you said son.  
  
Sara: Yeah . . .  
  
Dante: (Shakes his head.) So . . . you're here all alone.  
  
Sara: You're in here . . . so I'm not here all alone.  
  
Dante: (Starts walking over to her and sways his hips back and forth.) Have you had plenty of oysters?  
  
Sara: (Sitting back, rubbing her tummy.) At least a dozen. (She winks at him. Then, she walks over to him and starts rubbing her fingers up and down his arms.)  
  
Dante: Ooh, yeah baby.  
  
Sara: (Pulls out her gun and aims it at his manhood.) I seem to recall that little White Bulls' bullet that my father didn't get for his birthday.  
  
Dante: Oh come on.  
  
Sara: Oh come on, not! You should be put in jail and stuck with a guy named Bob that is really big and likes Barbie dolls!  
  
Dante: No, Sara! Don't say that! Don't you care about me?  
  
Sara: I only love one other man.  
  
Dante: Who?  
  
Sara: Ian Nottingham!  
  
Dante: Isn't he your brother?  
  
Sara: Yeah.  
  
Dante: Ewww . . . that's incest. And illegal.  
  
Sara: We can live happily ever after down in Arkansas!  
  
(Sara grabs her stuff and leaves. After a second later she's asleep on her bed.)  
  
Sara: Damnit! I keep on having dreams about these people running around yelling, "Witch, witch, burn her!"  
  
Gabriel: (Appears in the doorway and eating food.) Use the witchblade, Sara, it can show you things that others cannot see.  
  
Sara: (Touches it and begins to concentrate really hard. She later sees a view of Nottingham taking a shower.) Ooh . . . oohh . . . it works.  
  
Gabriel: See Sara, you can use it to fight the forces of evil.  
  
Sara: Or spy on my brother.  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Okay, well I don't know if I like this chapter. But, oh well! Like I said before the updates for this fic will be put off for a while. I'm trying to brainstorm some ideas to put vampires in Witchblade, since they seem to have a bunch of references to them in the show.  
  
And I also kind of want to write a fan fic about Jake/Vicky. Vicky needs someone, and they seem to have pretty good chemistry when their around each other . . . so, why not. 


	5. Irons Is Firing It Up!

DISCLAIMER: You know the usual!  
  
FEEDBACK: LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
ARCHIVE: Sure, would love it. Just let me know first!  
  
Author's Note: I'm BACK!!!!!!! * Insert cheers * After many hours of thought and watching Crocodile Hunter for 4 days straight (don't ask) I have decided to make this chapter for the idea of Vicky and Jake!  
  
  
  
~ Nonsense Is A Virtue! ~  
  
Chapter 5 - Irons Is Firing It Up!  
  
Voice of Irons: Sara . . . Sara . . .  
  
Sara: (Stops listening to Vicky, Jake, and Danny about the recent studies on her new case and searches for Irons.) Where are you?  
  
Voice of Irons: You're getting warmer.  
  
Sara: (Opens the door to a spa and sees Irons.) What? You're . . .  
  
Irons: Dead.  
  
Sara: Yeah . . . but, you're in a spa?  
  
Irons: Just because I'm dead doesn't mean that I can't have a relaxing time in a spa.  
  
Sara: Ummm . . . yeah it does.  
  
Irons: Does not!  
  
Sara: (Looks at Irons.) You should be spending more time in a tanning bed than a spa.  
  
Irons: (Looks at his skin.) What is that supposed to mean?  
  
Sara: You're so pale . . . it's . . . how would you say . . . (Sara thinks for a second.) It's icky!  
  
Irons: (Tears start to form.) Do you really think so?  
  
Sara: I'm sorry if I hurt you're feelings, but . . .  
  
Irons: BUT NOTHING!!! You can't just go around hurting people like that! It's not nice! (Runs out the door crying.)  
  
Sara: That's just great! Now, I feel bad.  
  
Ian: (Shows up wearing only a towel around his waste.) He's dead . . . he's supposed to be pale.  
  
Sara: Try telling that to him, then. (Turns around to see Nottingham.) Well, you're not pale now are you?  
  
Ian: (Blushes for a second, then notices the lust in her eyes.) Quit looking at me like that! God, it's like you're some teenager with raging hormones or something!  
  
Sara: Only when I'm around you. (She licks her lips and starts walking over to him.)  
  
Ian: (Starts to get scared.) Umm . . . don't come any closer or I'll . . .  
  
Sara: You'll what?  
  
Ian: I'll . . . I . . . (Looks for something to protect himself with. He sees Mr. Potato Head and picks it up.) I'll kill Mr. Potato Head!  
  
Jake: (Steps in when he hears the name Mr. Potato Head. He's wearing a lab coat and has lipstick all over his face.) No! Don't! Don't be the cause of making Mrs. Potato Head a widow! (Vicky steps in after Jake does, wearing his shirt and tie.)  
  
Ian: Then get her off of me. (Struggles while he tries to get Sara to back off of him.)  
  
Vicky: Sara, don't do it! The babies need a father.  
  
Sara: There's Jake and Danny!  
  
Vicky: They need their real father, though!  
  
Jake: (Jumps on top of Nottingham to get Mr. Potato Head.) Don't kill him!  
  
Ian: (Crawls to the other side of the room away from the others.) Fine! (He throws Mr. Potato Head up in the air and Jake catches him.) I can't kill anyone anyways.  
  
Sara: Aww . . . he's sensitive, too!  
  
Ian: Leave me alone! I'm your brother for crying out loud!  
  
Sara: Like I've said before, Nottie, I don't care.  
  
Vicky/Jake: (Vicky and Jake look at Sara and gives her a disgusted look.) Ewww . . .  
  
Irons: (Shows back up with a tanned body.) Now what do you think?  
  
Sara: (Looks at him.) Well, you're darker now. But . . .  
  
Irons: What? Did I hear you say, "But."  
  
Sara: Well, you need to add some meat to those bones don't you think. I mean . . . you're so skinny.  
  
Irons: (Looks at his body.) Do you really think so?  
  
Everyone: (Shakes their heads.) Yeah.  
  
(Irons runs out of the room.)  
  
Danny: (Shows up in the spa with Mrs. Potato Head.) Hey, there he is. (Walks over to Jake to grab Mr. Potato Head.) We've been looking all over for you. (Looks at Vicky and then looks at Jake.) Ummm . . . what are you two wearing?  
  
Ian/Sara: Hey, you're wearing each other's clothes.  
  
Vicky: No, we're not.  
  
Danny: Really? That tie looks a lot like Jake's.  
  
Vicky: What makes you think that?  
  
Danny: Because Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head and I picked it out to give him a present for baby-sitting the babies.  
  
Vicky: Oh . . .  
  
Sara: (Points at Jake.) And that's Vicky's lab coat.  
  
Ian: Have you two been baking cookies? (Gives an innocent look.)  
  
Danny/Sara: (Looks at Ian and gives him a mean look.) No. It's obvious that they've been fooling around.  
  
Ian: Do what? I don't think so . . . they've been baking.  
  
(Danny, Sara, Ian, Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head looks at Vicky and Jake waiting for an explanation.)  
  
  
  
To be continued . . .  
  
  
  
Next Week on Witchblade: "Oh it's so beautiful! I hope our wedding is this beautiful!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Well, it's kind of short. But, hey it's here!!!!!  
  
Eli, you bring up an interesting plot!  
  
Spin and Rayvin, hope you like the chapter! 


End file.
